Being confined to bed rest in a hospital has made me think a lot of things which sometimes I forgot to stop and think about. I was like literally busy and on the go all the time, and never thought of just freezing the time, read a book, stare at the sky or just having a mind-blank for a whole hour. Wow.. Talking about spending time productively. But maybe I have been over-exerting myself all this while. I do not know how to stop. Rush, rush, rush, go, go, go.. I guess being here in the hospital is a gentle reminder that I am no super woman and should enjoy life instead of trying to catch up or being ahead of things. Gosh. Too much of thinking does not do much good either.

I have been a mother for as long as I can remember. Having Angelus was a new experience for me and looking at how much he has accomplished now makes me even more assured that the course and decisions that were done in his 8 years of life with me were somehow the right ones. If things were slightly altered or changed we would never be in this bliss and that would be a shame altogether. Angelus has gone through more than some of the kids I know. He has been a source of inspiration to me all this while. His compassion and quick to emphatise is really touching as he would be the man of the house whenever Jerry is not around. Such example would be when I fell in the drain and sprained my ankle (2 months back when I was heavily pregnant), he was the first to attend to me and quickly grabbed the phone to call an ambulance. Well that is my first born, my partner in crime, one who I sometimes call my greatest ally as we have been together longer than I have been with Jerry.

A year back I gave birth to my second son, after 7 years.  Between Jerry and I, this is our first child together and it was a planned one. Well we wanted to spend time together as husband and wife first, subsequently building that father-son relationship with Angelus. After 1 and a half years of marriage, Rovilson was born. We wanted to wait a bit longer but we realised that we were not getting any younger and we did not want our children to still be too young when both of us are old and crinkled. Having Rov was a breath of fresh air for us. Jerry got to handle an infant from the beginning and myself being out of the show for so long - we were both excited yet careful with the things that we were doing. I felt like a first time parent. But things went on gear when I was discharged from the clinic. My maternal instinct kicked in and by the 2nd day I was in full swing. I wanted to bathe him, feed him, change him, play with him, indulge in him and just bask in his presence. Rov was a joy to be with. Last Sunday (2/5) he turned 1. Yesterday (7/5) he has started walking on his own. Today his new word is 'banana' which happens to be his favourite fruit. Seems only yesterday I went for for an operation of which at the end of it, he was brought into my arms. That's my boy...

I was blessed with another gift last Christmas. I found out that I was already 4 months preggie. It was a really unexpected and unplanned surprise but we received the news with open arms. Since then this baby girl of mine have cooked up a different character from her brothers. She knows when will my checkup be (scanning, fetal heart monitor etc) and in the pretext of being difficult she would move and kick and punch just so that the scanner would not pick up her heart beat etc. There were several times when my gynae could not see her face because she kept on moving and covering her face with her hands. This is going to be an active lass when she grows up, I bet. Thankfully she has 2 older brothers who will keep an eye on her. Baby Vera will be born soon but not too soon as she is only 35 weeks. So just have to wait another week or so, then she will be ready to face the world. It is going to be overwhelming but I know I can handle it with Jerry and Angelus there. They were always a big help and I am truly blessed.