I am alone??!

I should be jumping up and down rite?

Nah..

Lonely, I am so lonely.

Hubby - outstation work

Son - berjolly with grandparents in the highlands

Mummy/Wifey - stuck at home... <__>

*Gosh, if I was a rebellious teenager, I would be having a wild party with booze all night long planned by now.

sigh.. great timing everyone!

i am on a roll..

i think it was yesterday when a sudden flash of nostalgia came back to me. i was reminiscing a lot on my past, and i realised that there were some people whom i had not made peace with. the relationship i had with this people ended so badly until i was traumatised myself and to move on, i went into denial, saying to myself that, that period is over and it will never happen again. well guess what. it comes in waves. and the first few times it came, i drowned.

but now, i was overcome with forgiveness and willingness to go out there and find these people to make amends, or maybe to just close that chapter in my life. it is pretty scary, but i am glad that some of them are married with children or getting married soon or just having a blast with their lives.

these people are within reach, by blogs, by FB, by sms.. but what is stopping me from making the first move. i did made a move a few months back, but the wave crashed on me, and it really backfired. i was not ready to close that particular chapter properly. but am i ready now? i should be right? i have to. else how am i supposed to open other chapters in my book of life?

emo emo..

on a different note, gotta go shopping for Angelus (larger scale) birthday celebration tomorrow. we are gonna have it on the balcony, so i need some candles to light up the place. any other ideas? i can't think of anything. hmmmm...

I was just watching The Amazing Race Asia 3 two days back and I was actually stunned when I saw Henry Chan (Bernie Chan's older brother) weeped when they had to do the charity challenge. What I saw on tv was not as bad as what I see first hand here in some parts of Malaysia. But I think to have a macho man break down like that, the situation there would have been far more worst and the network was obliged to show what is presentable on tv. Well that is what I think.

But I was glad that the teams managed to help 9 different charity organisations in that particular country (beginning to be like American Idol Give Back Showcase).

Anyway I am not here to talk about TARA 3, but I am gonna talk about this particular lady, Ruth Parasol.

I have never met this lovely lady nor have I heard of her until a few days ago. At 41 years old, she had climbed the corporate ladder and had co-founded a lot of charity organizations around the world. One of it is the Bonita Trust Charity Organization. It is headed not only by Ruth Parasol herself but also a line of professionals who shares the same vision as hers. They concentrate on making better the communities in 5 geographies, namely the United Kingdom, India, Israel, Bulgaria and Gibraltar.

Bonita Trust mainly concentrates on the improvement of the quality of life of the communities in this countries. They have committed over GBP 5,000,000 in doing projects like sponsorships of school in remote places in India, opening up centres for the rehabilitation of disabled children in Israel and cancer relief and research in Gibraltar. This tremendous generousity and coverage requires a whole lot of effort, time, money, energy and resources from all of those who are involved. This I know, because I have handled smaller scale of organising charity events myself and mine pales in comparison to what Ruth is doing.

It is sad to know that thousands of people, especially children are still suffering from this famine - poverty. I mean, if you have money, you would not be sick or would have gotten treatment for your disease earlier, instead of living and suffering with it. What is the root cause of it, and are we not nipping it at the bud fast enough. With the alarming rate poverty is claiming lives, do we need more philanthropists to help in the cause? Whatever the answer may be, good samaritans like Ruth deserve a pat in the back for their work. Kudos to you and to all philanthropists alike!

uurrgghh.. personally i am not a fan of this way of meeting new prospective people. or even trying to arrange for a date between two perfect strangers. frankly i think that it is degrading for both parties, as i feel that love can be found anywhere, if they really allow it or actually want to find it in the first place. i blame it on the over zealous and over excited and over worried parents who think that their bachelor sons and spinster daughters would die a lonely death without their partners, or maybe a handful of children beside their death bed.

seriously!!??

i do hope that when my children gets to that age i would not be this type of parent and intrude into their lives. i would also want my children to be independent and have their own place when they have made their own money, especially the boys. do not get me wrong though. i expect them to come and visit me, if can every week and all. but the idea of them staying in the house, hogging the tv and expecting their parents still to provide for them is really lame. forgive me for my bluntness. but this so reminds me of that movie from Matthew McConaughey, Failure To Launch. seriously la guys.


on another matter, what's up with people who do not smoke, drink, curse etc etc, then do it the end just so they be a part of the gang?? i mean why so spineless? where did all their policy and standing in life went to? just to fit in, they do the same thing that they did not agree to in the first place. gosh. i mean, we are not teenagers anymore. we can think rationally right? so why the stupidity? blah!

ok enough already. i think my babe can sense the emotion overload here. must think happy thoughts and phased out the anger.

relax....

hi fellow bloggers and friends alike,

thank you so much for your concerns, emails, smses, facebook mgs and comments left in my blogs as well as in the cbox.

the past few days has been gruelling for me, as i hardly can walk from the kitchen to my bedroom as nausea and queasiness kicks in almost instantly. i do bloghop when i get the chance, but i do it lying down cos i tend to get queasy there as well. today is just the day when i had the energy to clean the house a bit and also update all of you with my condition.

praise to God and a huge thanks to your prayers, we saw a healthy heart beat last friday when we did the ultra sound scan. baby was 6 weeks back then so it was still quite small. could barely see it. the sac is well formed now and i have stopped bleeding. doc said i am still in the critical stage (first trimester is always like that), so i need to slow down a bit. i am still on hormone meds just in case, but so far so good.

our next appointment is on the 26th of which the baby will be 8 weeks. this time i will be sure to bring my digicam and record the whole scanning process and post it up here.

indeed this baby is a fighter and a miracle to this family. he or she gave us quite a scare but i am sure God is just telling me to slow down, eat properly and stop running around so much. of which i did, and now jerry/edna junior is coming along well.

so again for all your prayers and encouragement, i pray that God will bless you with more.

ok ok gotta go. body is signalling that a nausea attack is coming. have to lie down..

till then.. good night and God bless you all.

so sorry for the lack of updates. i think i am just a little bit apprehensive as my next ultra sound scan will be tomorrow. i am not bleeding anymore (thank you dr guna for the progesterone pills) and my hcg level has doubled. other than that we still could not see the baby's heart beat last week. so the babe will be in its 6th week this week. so let's all hope for that thump thump sound, ok!!

thanks a lot for all those who had given their kind wishes and encouragement as well as prayers. it gave me a lot of solitude that you guys are out there praying for me and the little one. will update tomorrow on the result.

amidst all this chaos and worries, i am thankful that there are diversions everywhere.
so TGIF, and also thank goodness for :

- the hoo haa on Malaysia Kini (regarding Ahmad Ismail not apologising to the Chinese community)
- the anticipation of events around September 5th to September 16th
- Mum and Dad sleeping over
- spring cleaning today (not me, but called some cleaners to do the dirty job)
- finishing up my book
- also doing some assignments
- blog hopping (of course!)

so see you guys around and stay tune to Leaving A Legacy...

more on Leaving A Legacy

(please do visit Leaving A Legacy for more updates on my pregnancy)