it all started with us having a fight, of which lasted for quite some time. we were totally mad at each other. so at one time, i was in the dream alone, as in without him, still trying to sort out what happened. however it fast forwarded to us being in a car, and he was driving somewhere. i could feel that i was pleading about something, saying let's try to work this out, why did you do that, who is she? later i found out that he remarried. i could feel my heart beating fast. he did at one point tried to coax me a bit, but i was hard headed and did not want to budge. he was calm, but i was panicking. omg omg, in my head, i kept on saying, how can this be? we led a happy life, we wanted to get pregnant, we have a new home together. and because of a conflict, he had to leave, and fast forward after that he remarried?? this was surreal, unbelievable unreal! i was crying, when at one time he stopped the car and he said that he had to go. i pleaded and pleaded, and once he left, i lost him, and i was trying to find him in the crowds. omg i was crying and crying. what did i do until he left me? was it because i took him for granted? was it because of my terrible terrible mood swings? there were so many reasons that i kept on giving. then fast forward, i was with my parents and siblings. we were about to go somewhere and there i was trying to call him. i was calling and calling, but i could not reach him. another perspective was that i could see him with his new wife, although i could not see his face. i told to myself how can he betray the love that we had. where did our commitment to each other went to? and the reason he left was because of an unresolved issue? why such a simple exit? as far as i know he was a fighter when it comes to us. but now he has found somebody else and apparently very happy with her. (the last time i felt this way was with an ex of mine several years ago, and boy that really hurt). and now with the man that i truly feel is my other half. gosh.....
then i woke up.
have you ever been in a dream, a terrible terrible dream (until you have to blog about it, 15 minutes after waking up, crying.... >__<), where you are the main actress, together with your better half, and it seems so real, but everything else was different. different house, different environment, but all your friends are there, parents, siblings. the real deal la. but one thing was totally different. you lost your better half!! i was shaken, it was raining and it was time to fetch son from school. something just urged me to open my eyes, and in one second i knew that i had this reality to deal with, and that i had to fetch my son. it was past 2.35pm. still got time. i was relieved. then came the blow of the aftermath of my horrendous dream. my heart was pounding, i was basically panting. i had to call my other half just to make sure that it was just a dream. i called his office number, no answer. then i called his cell, a familiar 'hello' greeted me. gosh i broke down in tears.
so now here i am trying to evaluate the situation and what made me dream this kind of dream. was it because that i am sometimes a self-centered person sometimes and that i take things for granted once in a while? is this a sign of my flawness? i am really trying to phase out the dream but the emotion and distress is really real and i am not sure how long will it stay in me. whatever it is, this will serve as a reminder to always treat the day as if it was my last and to cherish the people that we love always (it might also relate to family and loved ones, cos they were all there in the dream) @__@
Hi dear, that was a nightmare wasn't it?! I've never had such a dream like this before, not until I had to blog abt it.
Anyway it was just a bad dream and don't let this get u down. You're trying for a rojak-eating baby boy remember? ;)
thanks maurica for ur word of encouragement. it is after all a dream, and i am actually still a little bit nervous about it. i guess it is some sort of phobia la.
im still trying to push it away and think of happy stuff with my family. so far so good. concentrate on something else edna.....
i ever dreamed of loosing my other half. and before that, dreaming my mom died and i was really crying when i woke up, i felt tears streaming down my cheeks. but of course, those were just dreams. maybe there were some happenings but i didnt notice anything cos i didnt relate my dreams with whatever that's been happening to my life. i just put my trust in God :)