she IM-ed me a while back and she said that everything is back to normal. Husband had a bad day at work and it seems that things were just going wrong. i bet it's karma but i did not tell her. i think she knows it too.
when he arrived from work, there was no interaction from him, she said. not sure why. maybe he was in remorse, or still angry. god knows. but she did not care and went up to him several times to make conversation. still very cold, but she could see that he was tired and down.
she knew she had to make the first move so when he finally retired to bed, she went up to him and asked him how was his day. truly it was a bad day, and she could feel that he was in remorse, not angry. then she told him that it would be a better day starting tomorrow. but he said that his day was getting better already NOW. then they hugged.
dearest friend, if you are reading this, then this is what i have to say :
i know you believe in the concept of 'life is short' and we should not take anything for granted. but life can be long also, maybe longer than you expected. so till then you gotta step up and be a better person in all the things that you do. pray and trust in god that he will be guiding you in every step of the way. whatever happened, it happened for a reason. maybe god felt that both of you were not dealing with the situation properly, of which lead to both of you breaking down. i know that what he did was wrong and he should NEVER do that again. talk to him about it, argue a bit, but argue not for the sake of arguing, but instead talk on the current point, not the past or future. don't give him anymore rooms to pick on you, and a word of advice for him, husbands must honor their wives, just as the wives must honor their husbands. he should mellow down on the lecturing, and manipulating of words, and trying to win on every situation. this is not the lawyer or bank or his boss, but this is his wife, and he should be gentle with her. she is already damaged, and it was in his vow that he will take care of her in good and in bad.
i know my friend, you can be a little bit quiet and it makes people see that you cannot stand up for yourself. but it is about time to gather back all your dignity and piece it up. i know you are not good in puzzles, but ask people around you to help. maybe it is time to not keep it inside but let it go. don't let it eat you up. build up your self esteem again and mix around with people. blog maybe? there are a lot of people out there who are genuinely concern if you want them to be. maybe they can help you. blogging is a theraphy as well. it worked for me and for a lot of people.
so may god be with you and stay strong. u have survived for 2 decades now, a couple more decades to go.
*hugs*
when he arrived from work, there was no interaction from him, she said. not sure why. maybe he was in remorse, or still angry. god knows. but she did not care and went up to him several times to make conversation. still very cold, but she could see that he was tired and down.
she knew she had to make the first move so when he finally retired to bed, she went up to him and asked him how was his day. truly it was a bad day, and she could feel that he was in remorse, not angry. then she told him that it would be a better day starting tomorrow. but he said that his day was getting better already NOW. then they hugged.
dearest friend, if you are reading this, then this is what i have to say :
i know you believe in the concept of 'life is short' and we should not take anything for granted. but life can be long also, maybe longer than you expected. so till then you gotta step up and be a better person in all the things that you do. pray and trust in god that he will be guiding you in every step of the way. whatever happened, it happened for a reason. maybe god felt that both of you were not dealing with the situation properly, of which lead to both of you breaking down. i know that what he did was wrong and he should NEVER do that again. talk to him about it, argue a bit, but argue not for the sake of arguing, but instead talk on the current point, not the past or future. don't give him anymore rooms to pick on you, and a word of advice for him, husbands must honor their wives, just as the wives must honor their husbands. he should mellow down on the lecturing, and manipulating of words, and trying to win on every situation. this is not the lawyer or bank or his boss, but this is his wife, and he should be gentle with her. she is already damaged, and it was in his vow that he will take care of her in good and in bad.
i know my friend, you can be a little bit quiet and it makes people see that you cannot stand up for yourself. but it is about time to gather back all your dignity and piece it up. i know you are not good in puzzles, but ask people around you to help. maybe it is time to not keep it inside but let it go. don't let it eat you up. build up your self esteem again and mix around with people. blog maybe? there are a lot of people out there who are genuinely concern if you want them to be. maybe they can help you. blogging is a theraphy as well. it worked for me and for a lot of people.
so may god be with you and stay strong. u have survived for 2 decades now, a couple more decades to go.
*hugs*
I'm glad that things are looking up now.. a bit better but there's alot of "work" to be done. You've been a really great friend.. :)
i've read your previous post. It's a heartbreaking story.
im glad things are patching up and hope that it will get better and better.
You've done great by listening to her. She must've been grateful to hv u as her friend. :)
Am glad that everything is slowly working out :) It takes time I guess...
hey Ed,
I may be cynical but for me....it's hard for a leopard to change its spots...if ever possible that is.
My heart goes out to your friend.
Ideally we all hope that the husband changes his way...if not well...hopefully she will gather the strength to do the right thing...not only for her...but also for her kids..
Btw- i agree on your comment about blogging...i sometimes find it therapeutic too :)
I hope things will get better for your friend...you've been a great friend to her...
shemah: it is always important to start anything on the right path in the first place. maybe thier ground work is a little bit shaky due to the many issues happened during their courting years. but i believe that they were meant for each other, and i also believe that the husband is really remorsed over what he had done.
may god be with them.
hey jean, she does not have many friends, but i think if one person has one good friend who stays no matter what, i think it is enough for anyone.
hi rozie. time will heal, time will change both and time will reveal itself. they need a lot of guidance and coaching. i think all they need is time. put aside work, kids, money etc. it is time to invest in each other.
hey fara i think in general once someone who is once upon a time was patient, meek and timid, suddenly leashes out something that is not within their nature, it is actually a point of no return. they will always have that in them. something like a wild stallion. once broken it remains like that. it is tamed.
so people and surrounding can break someone, and when the person they love does the same, it is human nature to retaliate. somehow it feels like it's nobody's fault.
if we keep on shielding ourselves from what ifs, i dont think we can ever move. all it takes is that bold step to want to have a change.
from there we will learn and lived.
aunty j, this is a continuing process. we have to keep monitoring troubled marriages like this. sometimes we must also not neglegt ours and take it for granted.
we might not know it, but we might be feeding something that we are not aware of. when the time for it to show its ugly face, then only we realise what we had contributed to it.
so to all. heads up ok!